I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
