He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Damn victory sex feels great
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
