Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You are the jesus of drinking
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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