Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Even my vagina gasped.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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