My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
