I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
