when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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