discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
