Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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