If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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