Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
