Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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