She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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