shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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