Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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