Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
