I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
