please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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