And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
