another moral hangover. fuck.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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