wakey wakey hands off snakey
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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