I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
