I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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