so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
