is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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