I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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