How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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