great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
