sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
