mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃