At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
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You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.