he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
