Soap is not a condiment
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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