This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
