Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
As shirtless as possible
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
All I want is dick and wine.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
