ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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