i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
