Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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