You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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