it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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