we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
