How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
