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no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
