She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
