D3 body, D1 cock
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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