I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
porn star boner night. come get it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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