Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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