Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize
