Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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