All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
