census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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