can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You took a bar mat shot.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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