Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
