I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
