We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
