Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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