as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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