my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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