just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
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I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
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Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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