Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
